The Battle of a Lifetime

Weight is something I've battled for who knows how long, most of my life I guess. I've had my ups and downs (very very lows) when it comes to my weight issues. I think maybe just a few times in my life since high school that I've actually been truly satisfied with how I looked and felt. I've probably tried just about anything...dieting, exercise, diet pills, and yes shamefully I've had a few eating disorders. I remember looking at vacation pictures when I was in my early 20's and so upset that I had let myself go the way I did and the way I looked, was not acceptable to me. I've been soo depressed at times when I hit my highest weight that I locked myself in my room on a Christmas day and just cried all day. Thats when I knew I had to do something. And I did, I worked out, pretty much watched what I ate and in 6months I was down 48 lbs. Then found out I was pregnant with Olivia (go figure lol).

I wish now that I had that will power that I had 7 yrs ago today. I can proudly admit I'm great at working out, I go to the gym, I've had a personal trainer since June 2009 and I work it hard. But its my eating that I'm ashamed of. I'm fine when I'm not home, but once I get home and walk into my house I feel like I just can't stop eating and so I eat, I snack, I pick, finish the girls food without thought...its horrible. Thats the problem with my weightloss. Something has gotta give. I'm tired of it. It does suck that the older you get the harder it is to just shed those lbs ugh.

So this past week I started the Biggest Loser Contest with my PT and we have 3 months, I'm determined to see some results, win or lose, I just want to see results. I've lost inches in the last 6 months, but the lbs have been up and down between 5 annoying lbs. My goal is to be down about 15lbs and I'll be happy. So anyways, along with the BLC, I also signed up with myfitnesspal.com it helps me figure out my food intake and what I should and shouldn't be eating to get to my goal in 3months. So I track my food, exercise and water intake. Its awesome. Its been hard, but I have to admit, knowing that I have to write down what I eat, helps me not want to really eat or snack soo much. Its hard sometimes because I'm an emotional eater and I eat when I'm bored, which makes me also want to get up and do more things to stay distracted. So this is it 2010 (30 years old) I'm on a better track in my life and its actually made me want to get family more active and right too. Wish us luck. Any suport and/or suggestions is greatly appreciated.
Thanks.